*Picture from google. Text was added*
Isabelle was a little moody earlier today and she is rarely like this. Rejected her lunch and me too, unfortunately. She only wanted her Daddy and Granny. Anyone but me. I tried to convince myself that it must be due to tiredness because we have been out of home to run errands for the whole of the morning.
Many ideas ran through my mind. Maybe she is really bored with my face because she has seen too much of me... well since the day she was born. Or maybe I said NO to her more often than any other human beings she have ever encountered in her whole life. Thus, that made me the less likeable and least fun person to be with. Or maybe it would help her to like me more if she don't see me as much as she does now. Maybe it is time for me to return to work. Maybe I should send her to a daycare centre so we both will have some space for ourselves. Or maybe we should get stranded in an isolated island where there is only 2 of us and we will have no one but each other.
Although nothing will ever change the love I have for her or love her any less, but for now, I could not feel anything else but unworthy, wronged, rejected & unappreciated. It feels that all the sacrifice made, the long labour hours, the pain, the sleepless nights just means nothing. I do not ask for anything in return but her most sincere love. People say children are the most honest species on earth. With this, she has made her thoughts heard, loud and clear. She likes me not.
Maybe I have been nothing but a boring, uninteresting Mom a child could ask for.
Is it okay for Moms to want to be the most important person in their child's life? I sure want to be eventhough it does not sound right.
I am not sure if any Moms out there have felt the same way I felt today, anywhere along their journey of motherhood. But this feeling is certainly lousy.