When the doctor told us the details of what Dad is experiencing; the mild stroke due to aging and Meniere's, it hit me hard. It hurts me knowing that the days left for us to spend together and for me to repay him my love are numbered. It felt that the last 30 over years, I have wasted each and every day of it and not doing enough in order not to regret.
Gradual memory loss and also possibly deafness being one of the cause of Meniere's. All these made me fearful, worried and completely helpless and loss.
I know this news impacts Dad himself hardest including Mom compared to all of us. I could feel that Dad is dissapointed about his health condition. Personally, I am still trying to digest the truth that Dad is in this stage at only 62 and I almost disbelief it. But we all have to learn to accept that we are made to aged and our life on earth is just a temporary assignment. This reminds me of what a friend whose father returned home to Lord recently, told me. When our parents pass the age of 50, we have to prepare ourselves emotionally that their health will somehow deteriorate and will one day leave us. But as a Christian, we know that the end of life on earth is not the end of everything but a beginning of eternal life in God's kingdom. And what is for sure that we will meet our loved ones again one day in heaven.
Despite all these, we are very thankful for many reasons; we found out early and there is space for Dad to recover and get medical attention to prolong his life healthily. I am thankful that I can be home for as long as I want to be with him and Mom because I am a sahm without having to apply for long leave and possible to face a very non-understanding employer . I am thankful that Isabelle has a role to play, to be Dad's sunshine to cheer him up and to keep him occupied. And I am thankful that we are not hopeless because we have God taking care of everything and our faith in Him is what matters.
'I am here on earth for just a little while' ~ Psalm 119:19
'The Lord has made everything for His purposes' ~ Proverbs 16:4