Ushering in 2011

How was your 2010 and what is the most unforgettable memories has 2010 brought to you?

My year has been a cocktail of many great things and I have a list of things to be thankful of....

• For the health God has blessed me and my family with. Without this, nothing else matters and nothing else is possible.
• For my parents' unconditional love.
• I have completed a full year of being a full time mummy and wife and I am looking forward to many more years to come.
• For a wonderful, thoughtful and understanding husband who always stand by me through my journey of motherhood, in all circumstances.
• I am thankful that because I am a 'jobless' stay at home mom, I had the priceless opportunity to be with my family when they needed support as long as I needed to, although there wasn't much I could do, well, except just being there.

And to end 2010 with a happy note, we spend the new year eve afternoon with my best friend and her family in a trendy mall in the city. Our date came with a bonus, both of us did a small deed for another fellow shopper. Both of us, the mums, not yet ready to leave, was still at the table at the cafe while our hubbies took the kiddos for a nappy change. A family walked by our table twice, peeping and must have been wondering whether are we ready to go so they could take our table. We stood up and tell them that they could take ours as we are okay to leave. A small deed but it feels good. :)

Thank you my dear best friend, SW, for sharing the new year eve day with us and most of all, for being a wonderful friend to me. I look forward to sharing more great things in life with you :)

All good things comes to an end but the end of one is the beginning of another.

Goodbye 2010 and welcome 2011!

Wishing all of you and your loved ones a blessed new year ahead! May the new year brings you more great things, blessings, joy and most importantly, good health!

Recovering

picture sourced from google search

When I left home yesterday, I cried buckets. I literally felt a sharp pain in my heart and I know I left a big piece of my heart back at home.

Not sure if I am too old to cry every time I leave my parents but it is one of the things I can't stop.

I remember how I can't wait to leave home, when I was younger. I wanted freedom. I dreamed of being on my own. I wanted to be a grown up as soon as I can. But now, every thing is just the opposite. And if I am given just one wish by a genie in the bottle, I just want to be close to my loved ones, all of them, in 1 place and never to be separated.

I am in a recovery state of mind. Depending on just the modern telecommunication system to stay in touch and counting the moments to be reunited again, in another few weeks' time. Yes, another few weeks may not sound like a long time but it is to me and I have to keep reminding myself that goodbyes like this are not forever.

At the meantime, yours truly will be working hard to return to my old routine and to be back on my own again.

Thank you my DH for always being so supportive and always being there for me. I know I will be just fine because I have you to go through this with me.

Rhythm of the Rain

Picture sourced from google search

The sound and the smell of rain here at home, somehow feels different. No rain anywhere else feels the same. It doesn't only give us more cooling weather but also brings back many warm memories of me being at home and young again.

Safe, belonged and loved. This is how being at home feels like and the rain only makes the feeling stronger. It may sound strange to some. But I can relate to rain, very closely and fondly. The town I grew up in has a famous nickname, Rain Town of the country and it very much live up to its name. Yes, it rains a lot over here. Even during drier seasons, we are blessed with occasional showers.

Today's rain will be the last raining episode of year 2010 that I will experience right here in the town I grew up in. Today also marks the last day of my 'holiday' here this year and I will be traveling back to my own home tomorrow. After being here, near to my dear parents for so many weeks, it is only natural to feel awkward that I will be on my own again till my next trip home. But I know I will survive because God also blessed me a wonderful husband who will stand by me, always.

Despite the heavy and sad feeling that I will be saying goodbye to my parents, my home and my holiday, my heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness that God gave me this very special place I call home and that I know I belong to.

It's Christmas!

Here's wishing you and your loved ones a very joyful Christmas and a blessed new year ahead! May the most wonderful & beautiful gift, God's love, belongs to you and your family today and always.

My current favourite Christmas song and am delighted to share it with you.

Hope you enjoy this song as much as I do :)

Mariah Carey ~ Christmas Is In The Air Again

Half Blown Christmas Flu

Picture sourced from google search

The series of my half blown flu started last Friday with a mild sore throat which sent me to the doctor's clinic right away. I hate sore throats and I didn't want it to get more serious if I left it untreated. Call me coward but I have a dependent and I can't afford to get sick.

After some anti-inflammation pills for my throat, I was much better. But late afternoon yesterday, I started sneezing non-stop and I knew the flu bug finally hit me, after almost 2 years. Yes, I have not been sick for the last 2 years. To be exact, I was very blessed with good health since I was pregnant (minus the early pregnancy nausea) till I gave birth and all the way till well, yesterday.

If this flu is going to be full blown, it would better be now. I don't want to be sick for Christmas and miss the celebration. Plus, my wonderful Mommy is around to help out incase the medication make me too drowsy to entertain my little one.

Right now, I am blogging this thought while I wait for the medication to take effect. And after 1 hour, I am still not feeling drowsy. Wonder why.

Well... wishing me speedy recovery...

Friendship... Frozen & Broken

With every Christmas that passes by, I am reminded of a friendship turned sour and the loss of a really good friend, a brother in Christ.

It has been 5 years since we last spoke to each other, since Christmas 2005. The feeling is bitter as we see each other quite often but not seeing eye to eye. Whenever our eyes meet, we just look away. And till today, I still feel horrible that our friendship came to an end. I am still holding on to some thin hopes that one day, our friendship will be restored. I hope that one day I will have the courage to tell him we should just forget about the past and give our friendship a chance. Yes, forgiving is not forgetting. I (together with some other friends) have forgiven him long time ago but for him, I would like to believe that he has too but again, for some reasons, it feels impossible for us to return to how we used to be because he was somehow influenced by a certain person (someone important to him) not to. We have tried all ways to make the friendship work but all our effort fell on deaf ears and hit a blinded heart.

I miss our friendship. I miss our fellowship. And most of all, I regret the loss of a friend and not knowing when will we find our way back to the friendship we once had. I hope he feels the same way I do even though if we will never ever be friends again. I pray that God will open his eyes and heart to see the truth.

Sweet Sorry

It thrills Isabelle when she turns her bottle upside down and see the leftover of the milk in it trickle out and wet whatever surface she is sitting on. Unfortunately the effect for the Mummy is just the opposite. She did it again this evening and stained the sofa in the living room. Since my 'NO' did no magic, I had to use the last resort. I lightly slap her hands and warned her very firmly. Then I asked her what is she supposed to say. She said her blurry 'Sherry' (Sorry) and then, she did something out of my expectation. She kissed me and gave me a very shy smile. I thought I must have been hallucinating. Repeated my question. She said it again, 'Sherry' and then kissed me again.

That, is sweeter than honey.

*Picture sourced from google search*

My Little Precious' Best Friend

Before I forget, although we have other 2 baby chicks as I have shared here, I don't get to take a lot of pictures of them let alone pictures of Isabelle playing with them. Reason being is, they are way too cheeky, mischievous and too hard to handle. They run too fast and not as approachable as Mango. So this is how Mango gets all the attention and how Isabelle got her first best friend.

Isabelle's current daily routine consists of 1 hour playtime with her 'best friend' in the morning and about half hour or so in the evening. As I shared in my previous post, she takes walks with him, she run and he chases after her and she watches him wade in the water. He follows her wherever she go. She watches him feed on his food and would come running to me to tell me that he pooped. Sometimes they also play hide & seek. Can you believe that a 19 month old toddler play hide & seek with a 2 month old duckling? :) It is a very adorable sight to witness.

My little precious' face shines with so much joy and so much laughter whenever she plays with Mango and it melts my heart. She is so happy. I only wish I could take Mango home with me or that Mango will be forever this tiny so I could fit him into my small little cozy home. I am now wondering how is Isabelle going to adapt to life without a best friend aka pet when we return to our own home after Christmas. Is Mango going to miss her? I know that Isabelle will miss him very dearly.

Vain little duckling looking at his own the reflection

Vain little duckling looking startled when he saw the camera

Me & Mango

Twiggy @ Mango (new name for the duckling) & his best friend @ Isabelle taking a walk in the garden

on a beautiful Friday evening.

Wishing all of you a wonderful & lovely weekend with your loved ones!

And happy shopping to those venturing out to fill up your shopping trolleys with all the lovely Christmas pressies :)

So Vain!

Nope, those sexy legs are unfortunately not mine

The little vainpot checking out her shoes (Grandma's actually) and painted toenails.

She is growing up, so very fast. I am already starting to miss her baby days. I remember she started to show her interest in all these girly stuff when she tried to mimic me applying skincare, makeup and wanted to hold my handbags. Girls will be girls and our little innocent babies will grow up, leave the nest and all we are left with would be beautiful memories such as this. I want to cherish each & every day with my little baby because every day is a blessing.

Jingle~Belle

No Christmas is complete without the prettily lited up Christmas trees (plus some pressies too, ahem)! And this year, our little Jingle Belle had her part to do too.

The little boss performing her duty & looking very focused.

The little boss checking out her work.

Little boss aka Jingle Belle was very satisfied with her job done and every time she walks into the hall where the tree stands tall, proud and pretty, she would point excitedly at it and exclaimed 'tee tee tee' (tree). I think she wants to tell us that she decorated the tree :)

Could It Be Potty Training Time Already?

Isabelle was bottomless, waiting for me as I tried to reach for the gadgets to change her. Then I heard her uttered her 'poo poo' signal, quite softly. She then started crying as if someone pinched her and while she cried, she said 'Deh-ty' (dirty) and pointed at the floor. She looked a little terrified at the same time and frantically lifted up her hands for me to carry her. And yes, she pooped on the floor.

I have been putting away the thoughts of potty training Isabelle. We have started to let her use potty few months back and then the process stopped. I can't remember when exactly, but I do remember she just suddenly refused to cooperate. We didn't want to force her if she doesn't want to and to make that into a nightmare for her. Perhaps she was just not ready.

*Picture sourced from google*

Lately, she showed signs of disliking wet napkins and cloth diapers. So, maybe it is time to reconsider the idea of potty training her. Maybe now is the time.

I have received comments that I should start early, or should have started since the day she was born, or I should not wait this long. I am not sure if I am behind any schedule but I believe that everyone has their timing for everything.

To me : Welcome to lots of homework and extra tonnes of patience and endurance!

She Likes Me Not

*Picture from google. Text was added*

Isabelle was a little moody earlier today and she is rarely like this. Rejected her lunch and me too, unfortunately. She only wanted her Daddy and Granny. Anyone but me. I tried to convince myself that it must be due to tiredness because we have been out of home to run errands for the whole of the morning.

Many ideas ran through my mind. Maybe she is really bored with my face because she has seen too much of me... well since the day she was born. Or maybe I said NO to her more often than any other human beings she have ever encountered in her whole life. Thus, that made me the less likeable and least fun person to be with. Or maybe it would help her to like me more if she don't see me as much as she does now. Maybe it is time for me to return to work. Maybe I should send her to a daycare centre so we both will have some space for ourselves. Or maybe we should get stranded in an isolated island where there is only 2 of us and we will have no one but each other.

Although nothing will ever change the love I have for her or love her any less, but for now, I could not feel anything else but unworthy, wronged, rejected & unappreciated. It feels that all the sacrifice made, the long labour hours, the pain, the sleepless nights just means nothing. I do not ask for anything in return but her most sincere love. People say children are the most honest species on earth. With this, she has made her thoughts heard, loud and clear. She likes me not.

Maybe I have been nothing but a boring, uninteresting Mom a child could ask for.

Is it okay for Moms to want to be the most important person in their child's life? I sure want to be eventhough it does not sound right.

I am not sure if any Moms out there have felt the same way I felt today, anywhere along their journey of motherhood. But this feeling is certainly lousy.

SIGH.

R.I.P. Twiggy

Twiggy (right), Tweety (left)

Goodbyes are never easy. And although Twiggy (one of the duckling a friend gave Isabelle posted here) was only less than 2 months old and spent his whole life with us, it wasn't any easier to say goodbye to him.

My heart skipped a beat when Mom told me that one of the duckling is gone. My brother put two of the ducklings in the small pail of water to swim just like we did twice a day. But the only thing he didn't do was to remove them from the water in time. And Twiggy could have drown himself and suffocated.

Twiggy left us last night, 30 Nov 2010 at 10.15pm.

Rest in peace Twiggy, my little duckling. It has been a month filled with fun and sweet memories you have given us and specially Isabelle. Thank you and we will take very good care of your little sibling, Tweety and we are going to miss you very dearly.