My Thoughts Today

Watching Isabelle as she sleeps is one of my most favourite thing to do, be it her afternoon nap or in the middle of the night. She looks so much in peace and my mind wonders far far away while I watch her.

Overwhelmed with the unconditional love I have for her yet drowning myself in worries and fear. I wonder what lies ahead for her... will she have a joyful childhood like I had... what type of person is she going to grow up to be... am I doing enough for her... am I doing everything right for her... there never seems to be an end.

One thing for sure, I could not imagine my life with her before she came around and now that I have her here, I can never imagine my life even for just one day without her. And because of that, I will give her the best I can in everything. And somehow it is becoming more vivid to me that being a mother is who I am destined to be.

Cheers to mummyhood :)

NKOTB then, NKOTB now, NKOTB forever

NKOTB was one of the most hot boy band of the 90s. Just talking about them gives me goosebumps. :) And my favourite new kid was naughty Donnie and gorgeous Jordan!

My and my classmates loved them then and still love them now. As ardent fan of them, we collect anything with NKOTB on it... buttons, posters, magazines, newspaper articles, files, stationeries, books, their animated collections... etc.

Picture of buttons found from google as unfortunately I do not have a picture of my own collection as those days, taking photos are very costly unlike digital version today

I even won a ticket to their concert in Singapore! I can still feel the high I felt when I found out about the winning via a letter and also with my name published in the newspapers! The feeling was so so thrilling! Of course, as expected, I forego the concert as it was too far for me and my parents would be insane to give me the greenlight to go. Besides the ticket, I won tshirt and a few of their merchandise over different occasions.

We also had a group of 5 in school and entered a dancing contest with their song (obviously) for our dance. If memory serves me right, we managed to grab 2nd prize!

I remember once, we were moving to a new house. I was in school when my parents cleared my room. When I came home, all my beloved NKOTB posters that decorated my walls vanished!! Search hi & lo, and my Dad told me that he has thrown all of it away because I have gone too ridiculously crazy about them. That did made me cried my heart out. Feeling lost and sour, the packing and unpacking went on when we reach our new home. Then I saw a box with rolled posters in a corner in my new room and it was my NKOTB posters! Dad pulled a big joke on me and it worked.

Talking about this does make me sound like a diehard fan eh? Well, yes, I am. They were a big part of my precious schoolday memories which I want to remember & treasure forever, or atleast as long as possible. I am sure my classmates would agree too :)

Here are some of their songs I still enjoy listening to :

• I'll Be Missing You Come Christmas
• I'll Be Loving You
• Time Is On Our Side
• Cover Girl
• I Believe In You
• Please Don't Go Girl
• I'll Still Be Loving You

Right this moment while blogging this, my mind is traveling back to schooldays and it felt so good to be young and carefree.

God Is Awesome!

I have had my share of experience working with big international companies, working closely with wonderful people and had fantastic bosses. I have also enjoyed many great perks and plump salaries. Glamorous functions, prestigious meetings, press conferences, travels on company's expenses... been there done that.

Decision for me to stay home did not come easy. Having to bid farewell to all the goodies mentioned above was difficult. Worries about settling with 1 income to feed 3 mouths was frightening. But God amazed us with His abundant supply. DH was still holding his previous position as Business Development Manager when I left my job while still pregnant at 7 months. Although his remuneration then was good but I was still doubtful if it will be sufficient to get us through comfortably. Out of DH's convincing and prayer, we decide to submit it to God. DH kept reminding me that if this is what God wants for us, He will walk us through.

Hallelujah! Not long after leaving workforce and arrival of Isabelle, DH was soon promoted to Senior Business Development Manager with additional perks, which was a blessing and bonus all in one! And a few months down the road, DH brought home another excellent news! He was upgraded to Regional Manager! It was unbelievable!

Being a SAHM is sweet itself. But being one with so many blessings is heavenly.

Did I mention that being a SAHM defeats all the jobs I had before? I can't imagine going back to work and leaving my little darling with a babysitter, maid or even my own parents. Some think that it would be quite a chore to wake up to a wailing baby with soiled diaper waiting to be changed then fed. To me, waking up, having to fight the mad morning traffic and to fight the misery of missing the little child I had to leave behind under another person's care while I go to office and fight another round of endless battle, now THAT is nightmare.

Many perceive being a SAHM equals to boring, plain, monotonous & even purpose-less and rather be working than to spend time at home with their kids eventhough they are capable to survive with 1 income. Sad to say, those who thought so do not know what they are missing from their lives. There is never a deadline to go out and earn the moolah. But a child's early growing years are too precious to be missed. We only have the few years to have them near to us. In no time, they will grow up and spend most of their time away, be it studying abroad or they will just somehow have their own circle of friends they prefer to be with. We will then have all the time & space to pursue our own carried forward dreams.

Housemate from H.E.L.L.

She came into my life as a nice innocent colleague. After about 2 months working together, I became her housemate. I was then looking for a place to move to and she happened to have a room vacant because she just rented the whole unit of condo herself. She needed someone to share the rental and I needed a better place to live in with a good rental rate, so why not... great combo... colleagues-cum-housemate. Perfect match.

I was naive enough to believe that things will be just fine albeit my boyfriend-then-now DH told me I might regret my decision. He said his men sixth sense told him this is too good to be true.

Unfortunately, his sixth sense started to become reality after just less than 2 months I moved in.

Throughout the first few months, I discovered many of her unpleasant way and manners. Thank God I can't really recall all the sad incidents clearly. But here are the few major issues I will never forget:

Incident A - Part 1

Her 1st live-in boyfriend broke off with her (I will share later about this part of the story) and that means she had to fork out more to pay for her rental. She had the guts to ask me to top up my rental as much as RM100 to contribute to her rental. Ridiculous. The then naive me, actually sympathized her and sacrificed another RM50 from my expenses to 'help' her. She then managed to fish for a new boyfriend. The then naive me thought that I can rescue myself from paying extra rental now that her new boyfriend moved in, it is only right for her to manage the rental herself for the extra headcount. Turned out, she did not even bring up this issue. The then naive and silly me continued paying. Spank my own head.

Part 2

Her 1st boyfriend leaving her - I remember one night while I was relaxing in my room, I heard loud commotion coming from hers. Then they zoom out from the room and I heard with my own ears the most astounding remark from her boyfriend "IF I DO NOT LEAVE YOU , I WILL GO INSANE! I CAN'T TAKE YOUR MADNESS ANY LONGER!!"

The next morning, she shared her story with me and she even told me that the boyfriend attempted to jump down from the 9th floor balcony if she do not agree to break off with him. Flabbergasted.

Incident 2

She usually travel home on weekends and I will stay back as I go home only once every 2 months. Since I am around, I took up the housekeeping chores and even clean up her pet dog's poops and mess. One fine Sunday evening, she came back from her hometown and suddenly, she just blew up! Apparently she was not happy of the way I clean the floor. I sweep and then mop the floor. She wanted it the other way! But I was just doing her a favour to clean the whole house including her room! I am just renting a room from her and I could've just clean my own room. She was just that ungrateful!

There was also some occasions when she would be mad just because she came home to a wet kitchen sink & dust and hair sticking to the broom!! She is really out of this world! How can a kitchen sink be dry all the time?

Incident 3

When I have had enough of her unreasonable crap, I decide to move out before I go insane like her 1st boyfriend. Once I found and confirmed about the new place, I told her and she exploded again. This time, she was mad why didn't I break the news to her earlier. Then she went around the bush and forced me to move out even before my new place was ready and it was actually short of notice from her. I know I could fight for it but another day living under the same roof with her is only going to make me more miserable. So I had to get another temporary place to stay before I could move to the new place. I was so grateful my friend's landlady was kind enough to rent a room to me for as short as 1 month which is rare because not many would want to.

Incident 4

Her 2nd new boyfriend happened to be the best friend of my boss's son who also worked in the same company as us. When they hit it off, she told me that she want to go lo and do not want anyone to know and emphasized that she trust only me. But their relationship did not stay in the dark for very long and she accused me for being the culprit when the whole office seems to know about them. Am I that silly to announce their news when I know I am the only person to hold her secret?? She is very truly extremely naive not to realise that her boyfriend's bestfriend is working in the same place as us and she is silly enough to believe that her boyfriend would not tell him, and he would not tell it to his sister (boss's daughter who is also in the company and she does not like to keep secrets).

Incident 5

Of course, after all that, she gave me a lot of hard times at the workplace. Showing me her unhappy, bitter and angry face all the time. She even tried to brainwash others not to like me. But she forgotten that I have been there for longer than her and my workmates know me well enough. I should thank her for teaching to be patient and leveled up my tolerance. Today when I thought about it, I should also thank her for being the push factor for me to take the first step to leave the company after a comfortable 3 years. Please do not get me wrong, I did not leave because of her as she have no power to do that to me. I had a boss who was the owner of the listed company, who supported me and loved my job and holding a position like mine, I have many of my boss's staff who respected me. But it was time to move on and she was a bonus!

Philosophies Of The Day

Make The World A Better Place for All :

• Count your blessings.
• Stop focusing on others weaknesses.
• Remember 1 good point about everyone you know in your life (even though some of them are difficult to be liked).
• Remember that all the good and bad deeds you did might come back to you in folds. So invest more in the good deeds.
• You do not need to win in all your battles. Sometimes taking a step back feels better than winning.
• Be grateful of what you have and what others do for you, no matter how little.
• Do not always put yourself on top of the list.
• If you can't please everyone, do not expect everyone to please you.
• Remember that the world doesn't revolves ONLY around you.

To be continued....

Escapade in Krabi

Day 1

Left home with a heart as heavy as a million tonne lorry. I didn't expect myself to feel anything less than that for a first time not having Isabelle with me.

Arrived Krabi International Airport and checked into the hotel. Took a short rest after a late lunch. Rented the hotel's motorbike and went for a joyride. This is one place where we can ride a vehicle without a license and helmet.

Our home for 3 days

My thai tea for the day

I don't mean to be nasty but this Thai style English is cute.

DH has never been on a motorbike, let alone riding one. He took the challenge and took me for a ride. He passed.

Dined at a restaurant down the road with the rest of DH's colleagues and adjourned for drink at Luna Beach Bar opposite the hotel. The place did not look convincing but the moment we walk pass the dancefloor which led to an open air verandah overlooking the beach, we were so mesmerised! The sky was crystal clear, full of stars and the sound of the wave hitting the shore was almost paradise.

While chatting, suddenly I looked up the sky and there, shooting star! I have not seen one for the past 20 years! Unbelievable. The next thing I remembered was, DH's boss holding my hand and very excitedly exclaiming "MAKE A WISH, QUICK, MAKE A WISH!" I know, the myth was wish with eyes shut. But it would be too wasteful to close my eyes when there is this star shooting across the skies every 2 decades! Well, hopefully the wish I made would come true despite me going against the rules.

Day 2

We skipped island hopping which was our initial plan. Weather was forecaseted to be bad and sea would be rough. With my motion sickness syndrome, going on a 45 mins speedboat ride would be an extremely crazy decision. After breakfast, we booked for the massage session and it was so soothing. Managed to catch a short nap while they massage away all the fatigue.

DH withdrew himself from the idea of riding into Krabi town on a bike together with another couple. I respected his decision although I do think it would be exciting and adventurous to do so. Hailed an open air taxi. We did not regret the decision because the road to the town was a little busier than in Aonang Beach. Arrived in town and shopped a little. After lunch and a little stroll, weather turned gloomy and we decided to head back to the hotel in a real taxi (with aircond).

A bowl of piping hot chicken and pork noodles. Very delicious!

Mr Sun decided to emerge again when we returned to the hotel. Gave us one last chance to maximise the motorbike rental before returning it to the hotel. Continued our shopping.

After shower, joined the rest of the team for dinner.

DH & his colleagues were asked to share a few words as that was their company's tradition during such trip. Never occur to me that their spouses/partners would had a chance to do so too! I was honored to be given a chance to thank the company and the organising team for a wonderful trip.

Farewell

It was pouring heavily when we woke up. I was joking with DH, this could be the sign of tsunami coming because the waves was strong and mighty!

After breakfast, me, DH & 2 more of his colleagues and boss, went for a last shopping trip down the road.

I had a blast bargaining when we saw stuffs we badly want to get hold of with a good price. The sense of satisfaction is beyond words :)

This shop gave me the best shopping experience I have ever had in Thailand !

Supplies to bring home

Checked out from hotel and left for airport. The organising team arranged for the driver to stopped by at a souvenir shop for us to buy some local goodies home.

Trip was fun and refreshing. It was great to get to know the wonderful people DH works with. But, nowhere is like home.

Back in my baby's arms!

I thought I will never survive this trip without making 100 calls home per hour! But I did. I was good enough to just dial the number 4 times & about 10 sms a day. I ought to be very proud of my achievement!

My parents and sister were very understanding to pick up my calls and reply my sms patiently and not getting annoyed. :)

Isabelle was very good throughout the 3 days and the only hiccup was she had little difficulty falling asleep at night. Other than that, no whining and nonstop crying as I'd imagined. Mom told me that she constantly walk around the house and seems to be looking everywhere for us and calls out 'Papa' & 'Mama'. Each time anyone opens the main door, she would exclaim 'Papa' loudly thinking that it was her Daddy coming home from work.

I was already counting the moment to be home again on the 2nd morning in Krabi.

The moment we reach the lobby's lift at our condo, my heart pumped faster! My Dad opened the door for us. Isabelle walked to the door and she paused for 2 or 3 seconds, looking a little lost. Then she smiled so widely and came running to me with her arms opened wide enough to hug me. Her expression was priceless. Tears flooded my eyes and I wish there was a device invented to record that indescribable feeling!

She kissed my cheeks and there's nowhere else I want to be but here, with my baby :)

* Blissful *