Sweet Peeesss from my little precious

"Peeeesssss... Peeeessshh..."

That was Isabelle's 'please' version. It sounded so cute and adorable.

She blurted it out after I said "please" to her, when I was feeding her biscuits for her teatime snack this afternoon. I had no expectation at all for her follow after me. But she did!

Hopefully, next time she does it, we will be able to capture it on video :)

My Hubby, the Great Dad!

My DH is a fun and loving dad apart from being a great husband and a best friend.

When Isabelle reached 4 months old, she can no longer sleep peacefully in her crib. She toss & turn a zillion times and 360 degrees. she will bump onto the sides and that wakes her up easily. So DH, sacrificed his precious side of the bed for Isabelle so she can sleep next to me. DH took over the floor on a mattress. Thank God the mattress is a comfortable one. Sometimes, when I wake up in middle of the night, I would look at DH and it breaks my heart to see him sleeping (soundly) on the floor and I wish silently that Isabelle would grow up fast so that she can sleep in her own bed and dearest Daddy can sleep next to Mummy again, on the bed.

DH also forego his passion, badminton, during weekends and weeknights now that Isabelle is around. Thank God for the flexibility of his working hours, DH would be home in time to bring Isabelle for some waddling in the pool.

Despite a long day at work, DH would return home and walk into the door with a wide smile. Not only that, he would help me handwash Isabelle's cloth diaper & napkin every day. Isn't that lovely and thoughtful? If I am a working mom, I would be dead tired at the end of the day and maybe I would be even too tired to clean up myself, let alone handwash those baby stuffs.

Most of all, DH encouraged me to quit my job so that I can be at home with Isabelle. That is best full time job one can ever imagine. But with single income due to me being an official sahm, DH would need to work extra hard to feed us :) Bravo DH!!! I am proud of your achievements.

DH, if I never tell you this or maybe I don't get to tell you this often enough... You are a great Dad and a wonderful husband. I m glad you found me (or the other way round) and I am blessed you are mine.

I love you Dear!

Here's a prayer for you:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for putting both of us together. Thank you Lord for sending me a wonderful husband and for blessing our life with all that we need. Please bless my DH with good health and bless him with Your wisdom to be a father You want him to be. May Your presence fill his journey of fatherhood and grow that same heart in him for his children. Give him the skill of communication with his children and may he delight his children and bring them up in Your way. In Jesus' name. Amen.

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him ~ Proverbs 23:24

The Day I Became a Mom

After posting about my Ma and Mother's Day last night, I figured out that maybe I should blog about my own birth day. Yes, the day I gave birth to Isabelle.

Doctor has estimated that my baby should be due on 8 May 2009. And also reminded me that because I had high sugar in my blood (borderline of gestational diabetes), baby has to be out latest on my EDD.

I return to my parents home where I will spend my confinement month sometime in April, almost a month before my EDD. Reason was so that if baby wanted to come out earlier, I am already safe in Taiping. We prefer to be prepared in advance. DH traveled back to Taiping to be with me almost every weekend then. Every single day, when we call each other, the default question was "How ar, baby want to come out already ar? Any sign ar?"

Counted days and moments and each time I go to toilet, I would be watching out for labour signs. Being a first time expecting mother, I really had no slight idea what does 'show' look like or how would water bag broke would feel like.

DH had already plan to drive back to Taiping on 7 May, should there be no sign before that and to keep the risk afar, we will have to induce this mummy here by 8 May.

7 May 2009 (Thursday).

Church prayer meeting at 8pm. I was getting ready and went to answer nature call before leaving home for church. SURPRISE! There was a small patch of brownish reddish stuff on my underpants. Paused. I did not immediately realise that was 'show', sign of labour has begin. I had doubts though. But I quickly put my pants back on and get Ma to my room. Showed her the 'evidence'. She paused for a moment and said 'YOUR BABY IS READY TO COME OUT!" I was like, "Oh dear, THIS IS IT. BABY IS AROUND THE CORNER".

I quickly called up the medical centre and was asked to go for a check up. Reached the medical centre within the next 20 minutes. Dad called DH many times, to rush him to drive back that very night. I think Dad was more kancheong (anxious) than any of us.

Doctor arrived and examined me. I was only dilated by 2cm. Oh boy... 10cm is going to take a long while.

Doc: OK. You need to overnight here for observation.

Me: But, I have not shower and do all that I needed to do. Can I go home to shower?

Doc: Shower here la... we have everything here.

Me: I need to wash and blowdry my hair. You guys provide hairdryer?

Doc: Err... psssttt... (asking midwife standing next to him). Got hairdryer ar?

Nurse: No la doctor.

Doc: Ok.. then you go home, shower and make sure you check back in here by 11pm.

It was a relief. I can't imagine taking my last shower before baby comes in the hospital. I want it to be as luxury as it can get. Pre-baby reward for myself. Silently, I was also delighted because atleast going home, I can sneak an episode of my favourite series then before going back to the hospital.

After shower, DH arrived safely from PJ. I told DH, maybe I can sleep at home tonight and go back to hospital tomorrow morning or when I feel my contraction. DH shook his head. So, off we go... back to the hospital. Changed and midwife shooed me off to bed. After a few minutes, doctor made a surprise appearance and when he saw me, he look at his watch. "Did you just came in? It is 12am. You were supposed to come back here by 11pm. So, are you happy now, after your shower at home? Ready for the long night ahead?" I looked at him, stunned, maybe he could see a neon 'TERRIFIED' blinking on my forehead. Then he said "Dont worry. You will be fine and your baby will most probably come tomorrow. Ok. Sleep tight."

That night was the longest night in my entire life. The presence of a pregnant lady next bed in the observation ward, didn't make it any easier. She was groaning and exclaiming every 2-3 minutes "adui... sakit... adui.. sakit... tolong...." It freaked me out and dawned on me, what am I getting myself into.

I didn't get much sleep which I needed, knowing that the next day is a big day. Mild contraction at the stroke of midnight. But I survived the sleepless night. Anyway, at 5am, doctor came in again and wanted to check my progress. I dreaded the VE. I was only 3 or 4 cm dilated at 5am. Doctor advised that because of my slow progress, I'd be better to induced via pill so that it will help speed up my dilation. After the insertion of the magic pill, the contraction kinda started within the next 30 mins. DH came back to the hospital as early as 6.30am. Poor DH, he didn't sleep well either. He was both excited and worried about me being in the hospital all alone. I have never been in a hospital.

8 May 2009 (Friday)

At 8am, Ma and Mrs Chang, a close church friend came to visit me at the observation ward. I was in great pain, the contraction was getting to me. I cried. Yah, I am a cry baby. Mrs Chang offered to pray for me. When I heard the prayer, I cried harder.

After that, they left and I went to take my shower and the nurse came to help clean me up. Then I was lead to the labour room. I was about 5cm dilated after the torturous VE. I asked for epidural. Midwife told me anesthetist will only be available after 9.30am. SHOOT. I had to endure the pain. But, what the heck. If I can endure the contraction from 12am, I can endure a little bit longer.

Got the long waited epidural. But, the epidural somehow did not work 100%. I still feel the intense contraction on one side of my back. Doctor checked me again and I was 6cm dilated by 12pm. But I was crying due to the pain. And my tolerance towards pain is almost near to zero. Doctor told me that I can either redo the epidural OR opt for C-sec which he does not recommend because I have came this far to 6cm and that I should hang in there. The moment I heard that I might need to settle for C-sec, I cried more and when I turn to DH, I saw him wiping away his tears. I was disappointed, tired, in pain & lost. While I was still thinking, Doctor decided for me that I should persevere, no need to re-do my epidural and with additional of entonox straight in my face. I survived till 3.10pm with DH by my side. I did it. 10cm finally!!! Midwife checked and her face lit up! She was literally on top of her voice:

Nurse: Hey, Mummy. You are 10cm dilated. It is time to push. Your baby is almost here!!!

Me: *drowsy from the entonox* I can't push. I am very sleepy. I am very very sleepy and tired.

Nurse: No.. No... You need to push. I will teach you.

Me: But, I am really tired.

Nurse: *Rushed over with a chilled towel and slap it on my forehead and face*

Me: *Wide awake already* Okay... push now ar???

After few pushes, Doctor had to use forcep. After just a quick few minutes, our bundle of joy emerged finally! DH cried when he saw Isabelle. I, for sure, in tears.

She was perfect. She was lovely. She was soft and gentle. She was so fragile and she was everything we ever dreamed of. She is ours and she is REAL!

This is the moment we have been waiting for full 10 months. It felt real now, so real. Even putting all the memories down in words now after a year, it still feel so overwhelming.

Heard Isabelle wailing for the first time. The feeling was unbelievable. Now, all the stories from other mummies about 'when you see your baby, you will forget about the pain and sweat' are all coming true.

Ma, Papa and Granny came into the labour room after Doctor was done with his job and I was changed. Everyone was emotional and excited and happy and feeling on top of the world. I for one, in state of disbelief, still. But happy. :)

That marks the beginning of another interesting & colorful chapter of our lives. And I know I owe my birthday(s) to my Mom because of her pain & tears, I am here today.

Welcome to the world Isabelle (belated welcome, that is).

Baby Isabelle * 2 days old (left)

Happy Belated Mother's Day

I did not get to blog this on actual Mother's Day as l only started to fill up Pinkbibs way after Mother's Day.

This is Ma's 2nd Mother's Day as a grandmother. Her first Mother's Day last year must have been the most extravagant and meaningful event of her life. Because Isabelle was born 2 days before Mother's Day. I remember when she, Papa and Granny came into the labour room to visit me, I hugged her almost immediately and wished her and told her "Ma, this is your Mother's Day gift". And of course, tears of joy were rock & rolling down everyone's eyes.

Now that I am a mommy myself, this occasion and the greetings of 'Happy Mother's Day' means a whole lot more to me. 'Mother' is not just a title anymore. It is a RESPONSIBILITY and GIFT. Sounds heavy? Maybe. But, it is a privilege and its rewards is incredible. I know that now.

Ma used to work become she became a SAHM. Granny & Grandpa took care of me & my brother while she goes out to work. When she is out to work, I would flip and flip our photo albums and spend the day looking at Ma's photos. (That particular album is still around, but in very worn condition. Ma would tell friends and guests who comes over that I flipped it over zillion times when I was little because I miss her when she was out to work. I guess she is proud of that). When it is about her off duty hour, I would sit at the staircase to wait for her return. But I remember when she quit her job, we were the happiest children on earth. Ma would read us stories in the afternoon before we doze off for our afternoon nap. And I remember Ma would send me breakfast in school during recess time. My utmost favourite breakfast... chee cheong fun (which I posted earlier). Although that is almost 3 decades ago, it still feel like yesterday.

When I turn 18, Ma bought me a big set of skincare. She told me that she did not have this luxury when she was my age and want me to have what she did not have. How more thoughtful can Ma be.

I now understand the level of sacrifice of a Mother. It is so beyond words and a Mother would give her everything and anything that she can to her child. She would put herself second or last, but never before her child. Ma, thank you for being all the above for me.

Ma,

I thank God for you. I thank God for showing me how great a Mother's love can be and I pray that God will bless you with all that you need for the rest of your journey in motherhood. I also thank God that I now know and will experience what you have been through, and that is the only way to truly understand a mother's sacrifice. Thank you Ma for always giving me your best and may God spare us many more Mother's Day that we can spend together. Happy Belated Mother's Day Ma!

SAHM Gathering

Me and another SAHM, Jenny (whom I got to know from Babycentre Malaysia) co-started the SAHM forum. After a few months, our forum managed to fetch 13 sahm members! Not bad although more would be merrier.

We bumped into each other few weeks ago in a nearby mall. That gave me an idea that maybe it'd be fun to organise a get-together for our members to meet face-to-face and our babies can also have some playtime.

After some planning and scouting for venue, we decided to meet at San Francisco Steakhouse since only 3 of us confirmed attendance and our initial plan to meet at Gymboree had to be called off. Next time hopefully, when we have a bigger party.

Jenny, Lyn and I met at the outlet in Tropicana City Mall. We were scheduled to meet sometime between 1.30pm-2.00pm. However, Isabelle woke up only at 1.45pm from her late morning nap. When I arrived, Jenny and Lyn were already there. So sorry ladies to have kept you both waited.

And... it actually rained earlier that morning. It got me worried that I would not be able to walk over mall to the if the rain continues to pour. Lyn and Jenny both were very kind to offer to give me a ride. Thank you ladies for the thoughtfulness. God heard my worries and the rain stopped before noon.

It was a short gathering as we all needed to attend to our babies' needs... i.e. sleepy, hungry, thirsty, bored, wee wee, etc. But I enjoyed the session. And most of all, both mummies were very friendly and warm, and I believe we all had a fun time.

Ben is such a good boy with his unforgettably dreamy and captivating eyes! Jude who is just a day younger than Isabelle is a kind looking and angelic little boy. Manfred, the Kor Kor is definitely a handsome young man. Mummy Lyn told me that I am the 2nd person who thinks he is handsome and himself being the first who thought so. HAHA! Well, Manfred, you are absolutely right about yourself. Isabelle was the only rose among the thorns. Now talk about 'choices'.... LOL

Unfortunately, I left home in a hurry and forgot to bring along my faithful camera. Hopefully, next round, I will remember and also more mummies from the forum will be able to join in.

Such a short & sweet get together. I now look forward to our next gathering soon.

Cheers Mummies!

Happy Papa's Day!

Whenever I wonder how God's love would really look & feel like in real, my Papa comes into mind. He is a man of little words, not very expressive but is filled with love beyond description.

He used to send and fetch me from school in the little motorcycle. I love those rides and at times, I do prefer that to car rides.

Our life then was not as 'adequate' then. But life was joyful and contented. He left the car for Mom to use while he uses his faithful motorbike, so that Mom can use the car to run errands and chauffeur me and my siblings around. One day, after he left home for work but return within the next few minutes. Papa fell off the bike at the corner down the hill. I broke into tears. Papa in return had to console me.

Papa taught us many valuable lessons and ways of life. He is a great living testimony for God and I remember a church friend told us this "If you are looking for a good role model, your Dad is the right person to look up to". I was so proud to hear that.

I will always remember Papa for his wisdom, patience, honesty, sincerity, kindness and his love for God.

Everyday I ask God to bless Papa with many more healthy years so that I will have more chances to repay Papa's love for me. And I am thankful that God has blessed him abundantly that he can now enjoy the fruits of his hard labor and give his best to God, and us :)

Papa, thank you for everything. I will be always be your little girl and I am proud to be your daughter. Happy Father's Day Papa & I love you.

Good Bosses Doesn't Come By Twice

Daydreaming, reminiscing old memories in my head, playing some crazy games on my mobile are the few things I could afford to do while I sit in bed, next to Isabelle while she toss & turn for millions of times before she falls asleep.

Option for today : reminiscing old memories.

Memories took me back to my happy days in 'M' where I encountered many wonderful people & great working experience (which I sadly believe, wont happen again).

Lunchtime with bosses are one of the things I dreaded most. Surprisingly, I actually enjoy having my boss (then) tagging along. It is no doubt that being the person at the top, does make some people feel timid but not him. He is outgoing, warm and does not talk about work during lunch. And he makes everyone in the lunch gang feel at ease. He likes to talk about his family, pets, food and show a great amount of interest in everyone who is present.

Time passes by and after 2 blissful years, one morning before our weekly conference call with the rest of the team across Asia Pacific, he called me into his office, asked me to close the door. It didn't sound an ounce funny as being in Compensation & Benefits division, we do discuss most of the confidential matters behind closed doors.

Boss: I need you to know this and be the first to know. (suspense)

Me: O.... Kay....

Boss: I am leaving. Leaving M.

Me: PAUSE (in disbelief) You are kidding, right?

Boss: No.. not kidding.

Me: (in silence and bigger disbelief. devastated. imagining my world falling apart)

Boss: I will be here till end of August but don't worry, I will work things out for you before I go.

Me: (still in silence and almost in tears)

Boss: Are you alright? Do you want to take some time off? Maybe you want to take today off?

Me: No, I am ok but I need to digest this. It is almost 11am and we should get the conference call started. The team must be waiting for us.

Boss: I will be announcing to the team in the call too.

Me: Oh boy. You are going to ruin their days like you ruined mine.

Both: Sigh.

After the shocking yet gloomy conference call, we went for lunch. Didn't exchange much word as I was still trying to digest the truth.

I was upset the whole day and I remember I stopped talking to him for a few days except when I really needed to. Otherwise, emails. LOL. DH (was my boyfriend then) was shocked and shared my disapointment because he knows too he is one of the bosses that I truly enjoy working with.

For his farewell, we compiled a series of photographs of him and the team throughout his service with the company. Each one of us wrote a message for him. I presented to him during his last conference call with the team via netmeeting so that everyone else could see. (with a classic timeless song as background) Will not forget his astonished look. I swear I saw him in tears. HOORAY! All the hardwork preparing the slide was paid off.

The rest is history. But I will remember him for:

1. ... being a professional, tactful, kind & fun boss, always.

2. ... self invited himself and his lovely wife all the way to my wedding in Taiping in 2006.

3. ... organised a surprise birthday lunch & big piece of delicious cake for me

4. ... arranged for me to have a free mobile phone to use when I lost mine to a cruel snatch thief

5. ... fought for my permanent position in the Company as I joined as a contractual staff

6. ... wrote me a very long testimonial and it still makes me want to cry everytime I read it

So, what more could one ask for in a boss? Simply none.

And will I ever be fortunate enough to bump into anyone like that ever again if I return to workforce? Very unlikely.

I only wish I had the chance to work alongside him longer.